Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: How to Train Your Dragon ::
by William the Bloody
On the small island of Berk lies a town populated by Vikings. It's a nice enough town on a nice enough island except for one problem... dragons. Where most places are troubles by rats and pigeons, Berk's pests are large and fire breathing. Every so often the town gets raided and all the townsfolk pull together to fend them off. Being a dragon slayer is pretty much the most respected position anyone on Berk can have, so naturally it is what young and gangly Hiccup wants to be most of all. He isn't strong like his father, the town leader, but he is clever and invents a ranged weapon to take a dragon down right out of the sky. One night a raid starts a young Hiccup manages to get out into the fray with his new device, when he tries to spot the most elusive dragon breed of them all: a Night Fury. No one ever sees the Night Furies, because they strike fast and retreat, but they never miss. Hiccup spies an even darker patch of black blotting out stars in the night sky. He aims. He fires. He does it. The first Viking ever to strike down a Night Fury.... but no one saw, and no one believes him. Hiccup starts sneaking off to try and find his downed dragon in the wooded countryside, and eventually finds it. The Night Fury is wrapped up in Hiccup's net and helpless, so all he would have to do is administer the killing blow and be a hero. Only, Hiccup can't do it. The dragon was prepared to be slain, but instead finds itself freed from its bonds and the first thing it does is round on young Hiccup and... run away. The Night Fury, the deadliest and scariest dragon breed bared its teeth and ran off into the woods. Hiccup returns home unscathed and at terms with the fact that he'll never be a respected dragon slayer to find that his father has signed him up for dragon slaying school, for his own protection. Hiccup a skinny and awkward young man, of course does poorly in dragon slaying school, but pays attention, especially when he learns that pretty much all types of dragons are dangerous and will kill you as soon as look at you. This causes Hiccup to ponder the Night Fury's behaviour the other day. Why did it let him live? Hiccup manages to track the dragon's path to a gully and notices it is having difficulty flying due to a damaged tail wing and takes this opportunity to watch and study it up close. Eventually, the dragon becomes used to him and Hiccup learns so many things about it: what food it likes, what smells scare it, and how to pet it. Hiccup discovers that what he and his Viking people have known about dragons their whole lives is completely wrong. Dragons aren't necessarily out to get you so much as protect themselves, and they can be tamed; the can be TRAINED. If only Hiccup can get his people to listen to him before it's too late...
The Good: Yet another computer animated score for Dreamworks right here! The animation is smooth and lovely! The voice acting right on! The dragon designs were interesting as well as their cat-like behaviour! It had some genuine laughs! I loved Hiccup's ending... they had a nice touch there. Really, well done, you guys.
The Bad: Well, I guess Vikings are Scottish? Weird. Also, a bit of the story structure was pretty clichéd. Outcast thinker-type in a world where brawn reigns, laughed at for weird inventions, thinker-type eventually uses thinking to discover a way to better lives, thinker-type is now hero for being who he is. Yeah, seen it a few hundred times, granted this was the first with dragons in it. I do so love dragons.
Overall, I had a great time watching this. It's fun and cute and has dragons. What's NOT to like?
A
