Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Spider-man 3 ::
by William the Bloody
The adventures of Peter Parker, your friendly neighborhood Spiderman, continue! Peter is steadily dating his sweetheart, Mary Jane Watson, taking photos for the Daily Bugle, and attending classes at university, all while maintaining his crime fighting alter ego of Spiderman. Spidey has finally caught on to the citizens of New York City and the people love him. Yessir, everything is fine and dandy in the world of Peter Parker... or is it? Mary Jane's acting career was a bomb in a bad way on Broadway and she got the axe, but she gets frustrated trying to get Peter to listen, which easily turns to jealousy when attractive Gwen Stacey gives Spidey a knock out of a kiss in public. Best friend Harry Osbourne is still psychotically obsessed on ruining Spiderman ever since his father died. Some new information has come to light about who REALLY killed Peter's uncle Ben Parker two years ago. Peter's suddenly got competition as a Bugle shuttterbug by way of Eddie Brock who will stop at nothing to claim the coveted staff position. And to cap it all off an alien goo-like entity has come to Earth and has its sights set on bonding with Peter... permanently.
The Good: I would like to restate something I mentioned when reviewing a later installment in the Harry Potter film series, in that it is quite impressive to be able to get an ensemble cast to agree to come back after movie number two. All of the characters we've already been exposed to who return are played by the same actors and its really adds a nice touch of continuity feeling. I don't only mean our main characters of Spiderman, Mary Jane and Harry, but also smaller background parts like Peter's teacher Doctor Connors and the Daily Bugle's Robbie Robertson and Betty Brant. Bravo on that. Now then, onto actual film content. I really dug the opening title sequence which took a cue from Spiderman 2 and gave us some "previously on Spiderman" image recaps. Nice. The first action sequence of the film was with Spiderman and Harry, and I have got to say how much it kicked ass. It was fast paced and taught with not a second of celluloid wasted. It was a mid-air bit, and it moved like an aerial ballet. We had to deal with a new villain's origin with The Sandman, and I can't stress enough how well they did with it. He wasn't just some psycho crazy guy who was evil. He's an ordinary guy who did what did because he had his own reasons. They gave him a sick daughter whom he would do anything to make better. Granted, there was no such little girl in the comic, but it still holds true to the Sandman's basic character. I mean, he wasn't downright evil by any definition. He stole if he needed to, but he also fought crime from time to time. Heck, he had a stint with the Avengers. The sand special effects for him were really well done, and I especially liked it when he first gets turned into sand and when he pulls himself back together afterwards. We also got the infamous and much advertised Black Costume in this film. They did some interesting bits with it here, much of which kept true to comic book form. Re: the black goo's need to bind with a host body, the way it can heighten your natural abilities, it's weakness to sound, were all good points. What fanboy wasn't squeeing with delight at the bell tower scene, I ask you? Even with all the fights and new characters, we still get some great character scenes and emotional advancement. People go from bad to good and from good to bad, they get frustrated and desperate, and have to watch their blood pressure (in an awesome scene with the irreplaceable J. K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson).
The Bad: As pleased as I was with the majority of their use of Mary Jane, I have to say that I was greatly disappointed at her once again being reduced to a scream machine for one part. That's all three films now where she gets put in that position. Mary Jane is one of the strongest non-powered women in Marvel comics today. The movie series is making it look like she gets put in positions of great peril all the time, when in fact it's hardly ever. Boo. The Sandman does quite a lot of traveling by air in this movie which I do not understand. Yes, I get that sand can blow away on the winds, but it can't control which way the wind is heading! What the heck? I didn't like Peter's "transformation" into a mean guy from wearing the Black Costume here. All of a sudden he gets the urge to comb his bangs forward? Emo bangs and black clothes = evil, kids. I half expected him to be listening to My Chemical Romance records on his Wi-Fi and get bleach streaks. They also really, really, really dragged out this sequence in a display of misplaced goofiness. I could get on board with the reason behind making the sequence and including it, but there was no reason for it to be as long as it was, especially when the overall running time of the movie was about two hours and twenty minutes. Oh, my poor ass.
Overall, I quite enjoyed it. For a third installment movie, it kept the quality of film consistent to the first two (it didn't dip, in other words) and it thrilled me, chilled me and fulfilled me. You not only get gobs of action sequences, but also character origins and advancement, rivalry, romance, and heart to hearts. In other words, you get a fairly spot on Spiderman story. And this is coming from someone who has read decades worth of Spidey comics.
B-
