Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Saved! ::
by William the Bloody
Mary is an honest to goodness Jesus loving Christian. She loves her religion, God and Jesus and dedicated the whole of her young life to them. She plays back up in a Christian band, she attends an all-Christian high school, and has the perfect Christian boyfriend. Until... it seems the perfect Christian boyfriend is gay, and in case you didn't know, this is a big no-no for the hardcore God group. So Mary, being a good girlfriend and even better Christian, decides she must do everything she can to help him, which after learning about born-again virginity, turns out to be having sex to un-gay him. Unfortunately, it doesn't quite work like that, and when his parents discover his gayness, he's shipped off to a Christian sort of halfway house to "fix" him. Mary's senior high school year starts and she decides it's going to be the best year ever, until... she starts throwing up in the mornings. A trip to the family planning clinic confirms the worst, that she's pregnant from her tumble with her gay boyfriend and now her whole life, everything that has gone before and everything after, will never be the same to her again.
The Good: It was very interesting for me to see how "the other half" lives. The Christian kids were quite fascinating to watch and listen to. The performances of Jena Malone, Mandy Moore and Macaulay Culkin as said Christian kids were excellent. The writing was just great, delivering a generous amount of laughs, and not always in the let's point and laugh at the Christians sort of way, although, there were many of those to go around. Eva Amurri was just lovely as the only Jew at the Christian school (because it was rumored she was a stripper and they desperately wanted to "save" her), delivering terrific, loud and rebellious lines. Surprisingly for me, I loved Mandy Moore's performance as Hilary Faye, but trust me, if you watch this you'll love it, too (she's the girl you love to hate!). The underlying message of the film sat very well with me.
The Bad: Some of the severe Jesus-freaks MAY find this offensive. I really hope they don't but I'm sure they will, since that's what most of them do. Come on, have a sense of humor about yourself! Also, the direction, cinematography and music weren't really all that impressive. They weren't BAD just not GREAT. Some parts of the movie I found to be quite predictable, to the point of being formulaic.
All in all, I liked it. It was a merry romp of youthful self-discovery, which is something I enjoy very much. The heavy Christiandom slant of this particular journey made it all the more interesting to me (Mary is so terrified of being pregnant and found out to not be a true virgin that she prays her throwing up is due to cancer. CANCER would be preferable!). I recommend this film mostly to the nonconformist in you. Enjoy!
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