Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: The Phantom of the Opera ::
by William the Bloody
I am referring to here, the Andrew Lloyd Weber stage musical recently turned major motion picture. If you don't know the basic plot, then go read a book, I say! Okay, okay. We have a Paris Opera house which has just changed ownership. The new owners find out quickly that there is someone behind the scenes screwing with them and their recent acquisition by causing accidents if they do not listen to him, the self called "Opera Ghost", in running the opera how he wants it run. In other words, the leading lady, Carlotta has got to go and be replaced instead by a chorus girl, the promising young talent of Christine Daae, who has been tutored to sing beautifully by her secret teacher, the very Opera Ghost himself. Christine debuts to rave revues and her childhood sweetheart comes back into her life. This was not as the Opera Ghost planned. He wanted the world to hear Christine sing, yes, but he wanted her affections all to himself. A rivalry ensues between the deformed Opera Ghost and Christine's handsome boyfriend, Raoul. People end up dying, hearts get broken, and the Phantom decides that if he's going to go down, he'll take the Opera House with him in a blaze of glory.
The Good: I'm an all-around Phantom fan. I've seen as many versions of this film as I can get my grubby mitts on, including the silent version starring Lon Chaney and a version from the 80s starring Robert Englund (?!?). I've even seen an off-Broadway performance of the Weber musical live in Toronto many years ago, and yes I'm a fan of the music. The songs "The Phantom of the Opera", "Music of the Night" and "All I Ask of You" in particular stand out as some of my favorites, are just plain lovely in of themselves and performed quite well with the film cast. I'll admit that at first I had trouble warming up to anyone other than Sarah Brightman in the Christine role, but after the second viewing, I put that bias aside. And speaking of a bias, I know when I first hear "Joel Schumacher" I want to wretch in the toilet, but let's face it, every so often he has a good one (just look at Lost Boys!) and this is one of those rare goodies. The overture sequence, Christine's decent into the Phantom's lair, the "All I Ask of You" rooftop scene, the masquerade, and the cemetery fight all stood out as wonderfully directed. When the Phantom overhears Christine and Raoul pledge their love on that roof, when get a lovely bit of acting from our Phantom. Minnie Driver as Carlotta was perfect. She was as over the top as the part required. You love to hate her, you do. And hey, we've got a great score, period clothing, man in a mask with a cape, a snow covered cemetery, and a sword fight. How could this NOT appeal to me?
The Bad: Schumacher did this thing with some candelabras being actual people painted in gold. This really bugged the Hell out of me and I felt it took away from some otherwise beautiful scenes. I'm sorry, but as far as visuals go, the Phantom on the roof did not stack up to the Lon Chaney silent version. Chaney, with his huge cape billowing in the wind as he creeps along the roof in profile is probably one of the best directed bits of cinema in the silent era and it just proved that it can even out do some films of today. And while I mention capes, yes our Phantom has one, and he won't let us forget it, either. I'm sorry, but he swooshed that thing over-dramatically at LEAST six or seven times, and while I'm all for cape swishing, after a while it loses its effect and just seems like he's trying too hard. I started to laugh at him after the fourth time. Oh and re: Raoul at the masquerade, Adam Ant called, he wants his highwayman outfit back.
Overall, I like it. It's about flippin' time that the stage production was put to film, and I'm pleased with the result, and I was holding the bar pretty high. Most of the songs are great and performed expertly. The costumes and sets were gorgeous, and only the slight pretentiousness of the director brought this down a peg. Other than that, I'm going to enjoy this one again and again.
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