Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe ::
by William the Bloody
It's World War II and London is hit by the blitz. The government has put out a cry to offer relocation to London's children, which has been taken up by many of the nation's people residing in the remote country side. It is in such a situation that we find the four Pevensie siblings. Separated from their mother in London, they are moved into the remote country manor of Professor Kirke, where they are mainly supervised and disciplined by Mrs. MacReady, an ornery and mean older woman. Under strict rules, the children are desperate to find ways to entertain themselves, particularly on rainy days, and come up with hide and seek. The youngest of them, Lucy, discovers an unused room, which is completely empty, save for one large piece of furniture covered by a sheet. Hearing her eldest brother Peter near the end of his count to 100, she tears off the dusty sheet and climbs inside the enormous wardrobe underneath. Feeling her way behind the many fur coats, Lucy is suddenly surprised to find that the wardrobe lacks a proper back, and instead tumbles out into a snow covered woodland. This wondrous land is called Narnia, and it is currently under the command of the White Witch, who is so powerful she not only makes it perpetually winter, but also has the power to turn all of those who would oppose her into stone. Her grip on the land is fearsome and unforgiving, but she is afraid of one thing: the prophecy. Now that Lucy has entered the land, the ancient foretellings are coming to pass, and Narnia will never be the same again...
The Good: I can't express how pleased I am that this series of novels will finally get a decent go at a live action theatrical feature! It's about time, I mean who hasn't read these books in their youth? I was also quite pleased with the overall casting of this film. The White Witch was just perfect, and the four Pevensie children were perfect for their parts, and they looked good, but not Hollywood overly perfect looking good either; like normal children (if that made any sense). I'd like to give a round of applause for James McAvoy who was simply superb as Mr. Tumnus, the faun! He couldn't have been more like the character from the book if they had pulled him out of my imagination. The visual effects were top notch here, too. From Mr. Tumnus's legs to Aslan the lion, the CG blending was outstanding! The medieval style of clothes, weaponry and costumes were magnificent, and good gracious how I love that stuff. The music had this sort of enchanting new age-y thing going on, which I found to suit the realm of mythical fantasy this movie inhabited.
The Bad: There were a few times that this film felt like it was dialing back the violence more than necessary. There is a war at the end--- a freakin' WAR--- and yet, there is pretty much NO blood shed visible on the screen. At one point we actually SEE Peter slice someone's throat, and yet, his sword is always sparkling clean, with no blood smeared on it EVER. Also, Aslan the lion viciously mauls a villain, and after he's done, the body is just sort of... not there any more. It disappeared. Huh. Neat trick. I didn't really care for the Biblical allegories with Aslan and the stone rock (but that's how it was in the book) as it just felt like such a cop out to me.
In the end, I enjoyed this movie, I did. It wasn't wowie wow spectacular, but it was good, bordering on the great even. Everyone's acting was right where it needed to be; from Lucy's innocence to Edward's pettiness. The effects were grand across the board and the whole thing was pleasing to the eye. Action wise, I would describe it as a more laid back and kid friendly version of Lord of the Rings, as all of the same elements are there, but not on such a scary and violent scale.
B+
