Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Once Upon a Time In Mexico ::
by Forrest Grump
Robert Rodriguez sees one too many
Sergio Leone
films, they clearly influence his real work like the
epic Spy Kids 3D, and so he decides to cap the story
that got him there with a homage to Leone.
El Mariachi 3, or Once Upon a Time in Mexico is a
western with flame throwers, machine guns, and more
gore than most current war movies.
Starting with the players..... Johnny Depp, great.
Funny, scary. Like a cross between his Roguish pirate,
and his criminally irresponsible Hunter S. Thompson.
Depp is not a good guy in this movie, but he plays the
character well, so we cheer for him.
Unfortunately, I think that Rodriguez told Depp that
over the top insanity and cruelty were his free reign
to play with. Somehow, some people were hiding in the
closet during this meeting, and thought the same
privilege applied to them. Willem Dafoe.
I like this guy. He makes me laugh, he plays
irresponsible, psychotic and dangerous better than
anyone in the business.... right?
Not so in this one. He's a one trick Weiner dog in
this movie. Just plain sinister, and it does what the
man is capable of no justice.
Banderas does what he does. Same character as in
Desperado. Brooding, sad, slightly silly, amazing how
bad things keep happening to this guy, and he keeps
dragging himself up from the dust. He is much like
Bronson's Harmonica in Once Upon a Time in the West,
complete with tragic flashback set to music. The
problem is that Banderas lacks the subtle dignity of
Harmonica.
Much like Once...in the West, every character seems
to have likable qualities. Many of these deplorable
human beings derive sympathy from the viewer. We hope
that some of them manage to live through the movie.
Where this film is great is the realization that
everyone, everywhere has dreams. Some of the "I will
rule Mexico" dreams are not fun to watch, but some of
the "why can't my life just be a little normal" deals
really work. Micky Rourke, and Reuben Blades could
have been in their own movie based on that whole idea.
And there is the problem. There are too many
characters. Not enough time for some to develop before
they have new holes in their bodies.
This movie's first half hour has the feel of an
epic. The last half hour has the feel of a Bollywood
action movie. Everyone has to stand for something,
a lot of chest beating and flag waving.
The gore is over the top in this film.. Gut check
here, isn't this Forrest Grump? Didn't he LIKE Freddy
vs. Jason, HO1K, and Bad Boys? Yes... but this is
where it goes too far.
Too much torture, and one moment in particular
where a real bad guy gets it in a way that has got to
be a cinema first.
This detracts from the overall fun of the movie.
Desperado was fun due to way over the top gunfights.
This had the same style but with two or three scenes
of way too much blood and fibrous tissue.
The plot is also askew. Too complicated, too many
ins and outs and too many characters.
This movie tried to be an epic, and ended up being
too busy.
Overall C+
