Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Kick-Ass ::
by William the Bloody
Dave Lizewski is an ordinary high school student. Other than his mother dying of a brain aneurism, his life is pretty uneventful. He and his friends hang out at the comic shop, he fantasizes about his hot English teacher, etc, etc. The usual. Then one day, Dave gets to thinking: why aren't there any superheoes? There are THOUSANDS of comic books starring heroes and not ONE person EVER has been inspired to don a costume and fight for good? Not a one? Dave decides that this just won't do and buys the makings of a superhero costume on the internet. He puts together a cool outfit and hits the streets. It's not too long before he stumbles upon some known neighbourhood thugs trying to break into parked cars and he tries to put a stop to it. Unfortunately, he spent a lot of time on a costume, but not as much on any sort of training and winds up stabbed. In a daze, he stumbles into the road, and gets hit by a car, which drives off. Hours of surgery and rehab later, doctors have set Dave right by fixing his bones together with metal plates and he has permanent nerve damage, lessening his pain response. This has made him a little better prepared for his mission of Doing Good and on his next outing, what started out as a search for a missing cat turns into saving a stranger from getting beaten within an inch of his life. Dave stands up to the men when he finds out it's three-on-one, ready to die than to let this atrocity take place. A nearby diner full of excited patrons who eagerly watch a costumed man take on three guys, snap photos and download mobile phone footage of the fight to the internet. One bystander asks Dave who he is, to which he replies, "I'm Kick-Ass!" and suddenly he's a sensation, with Kick-Ass's MySpace page landing tens of thousands of hits and e-mails requesting his help. When fulfilling one of these requests, he quickly gets out numbered, but is rescued by the infinitely more qualified and deadly Hit-Girl, a prepubescent girl trained by her father, Big Daddy, to take down the local organized crime outfit. Kick-Ass isn't the only costumed crime fighter in town it seems, and the head of organized crime isn't too pleased about it.
The Good: I HAVEN'T READ THE COMIC BOOK. That being said... This film was loads of fun! It had some genuinely funny moments and GREAT violence humour! The action scenes were exciting AND fun to watch! Some really good fight choreography going on, too! Oh and the dialogue... freaking fantastic! The movie was just the right amount of serious and silly to boot. I loved all of the acting and characters in it. Everything came together exceptionally well. The soundtrack was PERFECT. Loved it.
The Bad: If you're a fan of the comic, you may be disappointed with some things, I hear tell. You know, Hit Girl and Big Daddy's costumes aren't quite right, etc. Kick-Ass's involvement in the climactic fight scene might take your suspended disbelief to the absolute limit.
Overal, it was totally wicked. I was tempted to turn right around at the theater and buy a ticket for the next showing right then and there! Terrific fun and a good time.
A+
