Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Juno ::
by William the Bloody
Sixteen year old high school student Juno has gotten herself knocked up. She's taken three pregnancy tests, so she's sure. Her friend Beeker is the one who did the knocking, and when she tells him about their "situation" he agrees that whatever she wants to do he's okay with it. After Juno chickens out at the abortion clinic, she decides the best thing to do would be to have the baby and give it up for adoption to a worthy couple. Juno and her best friend spend an afternoon going through ads for couples looking to adopt, when they find a promising looking young couple. Juno investigates them to make sure they're legit on her own, and then comes the hard part. Telling her parents. Her folks are disappointed but supportive, and her father agrees to go with her to meet with the couple and their attorney. Everything seems to be going swimmingly: the potential mother is a warm nurturer, the dad a cool young at heart musician, who are well off and live in a fancy home in a gated community, and they're everything Juno could have hoped. At about two months along, the adoption papers get drawn up, hands are shook, and it looks like a done, happy deal, but a lot can happen it those last seven months.
The Good: Look, I don't know what you need me to tell you, but this is one fantastic film. The acting, the writing, the direction, the soundtrack, the characters, the story, it's just about literally, ALL good here, man. The dialogue is witty and sharp when it needs to be, the mostly acoustical soundtrack fits the overall mood perfectly, and all of the actors knocked it out of the park here. Relationships in this movie evolve and grow, some fall apart, some get stronger and it all feels really natural. I mean it. For really reals.
The Bad: A few of the lines do seem a tad too forcibly trendy.
Overall, Juno is a movie you need to see right goddamn now, okay? It's genuinely funny and fun, it's out there and yet right at home, the characters feel honest and genuine, you'll laugh out loud, and sometimes get a little misty in the eyes, but the ending will give a glowing warm glow inside.
A+
