Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: House of 1000 Corpses DVD ::
by Forrest Grump
House of 1000 Corpses is rated R for
strong sadistic violence/gore, sexuality and language.
There it is, and alas for all of us genre fans, Hollywood does not get it,
thankfully, Forrest Grump, Rob Zombie, and Lions Gate do.It is unfortunate that this movie had to go through two different studios before
they found one (Lions Gate) with a sufficient lack of morals to release it.
The movie is a dastardly little flick released by kitch rocker Rob Zombie (and
yes, I am a fan). For those of you who are not, Mr. Z is a man who has made a
career out of the good old days of horror, not Marilyn Manson, anything to shock
you crap, but a man who has a genuine love for the nasty. As such, he is a kid
in a candy store being given free reign to make his movie his way. that is what
the movie is.
What the movie is not is a showcase for Rob's tunes, as they are mostly absent,
and replaced by oddball recordings from the 1970s, which the movie takes place
in.
Thankfully for us horror faithful, the movie gets it right. Not that the plot
will win any awards, or that the acting will leave you breathless, but what is
made available to you the viewer is a visceral trip through the twisted
imagination of a horror fan gone wild.
The movie opens with two nitwits discussing pornography and having a laugh at a
local mentally retarded man. Then the two people in Texas who are bigger nitwits
than they are attempt to rob the gas station they are working at. Some deaths
follow, there is brain matter involved.
If you aren't laughing at this point of the movie, you will hate it. You don't
like horror, stop reading and go away. Moreover your visiting a website with
Bloody Hell in the title is a misguided effort to understand the misguided. Go
see your guidance counselor and tell him you want to start training for their
job.
That being said, if you do like the horror, continue.
See, the brain matter, and nitwits are designed to make you laugh. The rest of
the movie is unpleasant, a sad depiction of how far we have fallen as a society
to call something like this entertainment (heh heh heh).
We follow two couples on a cross country journey. They are all writing a book on
roadside attractions. They get a chance to see a tree where some long dead
serial killer was lynched. Then they meet the Firefly family. Very twisted
people.
The movie borrows from Last House on the Left and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. This
is a good thing. There is a sense of impending doom from that opening scene, and
it builds through the movie's three acts.
The quartet of cannon fodder soon finds themselves in all sorts of bad news, and
their situation degenerates from there.
Sid Haig (who?) plays Captain Spaulding, Bill Moseley plays Otis Firefly. You
have seen these people before. They are the nuts in bad movies, and both actors
are at the zenith of their over the top careers.
Sherri Moon (Mrs. Zombie) and Keren Black (looks like Stiffler's mom) play the
females of the family. A few other characters round out the clan, each of them
with there own unresolved childhood issues, and nervous chuckles, all of them
memorable.
People die horribly, plot points go unexplained, blood flows down the screen,
and the non horror fans excuse themselves from the theater.
The horror fans squeal, barley able to contain themselves.
And that is who this movie is for. Take it as you will, overlook the shady plot,
and forgive the
sometimes ham-fisted acting. Love it for what it is, a movie made for people
that would drive three hours to see it (Um.... thank you).
The DVD has a lot of decent extra content, commentary tracks, and footage of the
actors hamming it up in the name of making you laugh.
Like it or hate it, it is a pure horror-cult film, and it is about time we
lovers of the form had our first part of a creature creature double feature.
Enjoy it. Or don't. I did, A-
I'm going to call my shrink now.
