Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Horton Hears a Who! ::
by William the Bloody
Horton, an elephant who lives in the Jungle of Nool, is a well liked, if sometimes dopey, member of the jungle community. He goes exploring with the children and tries to teach them things about the jungle. On the 15th of May, a small speck becomes dislodged from the blossom of a daisy and begins floating through the air, and when it passes Horton's head, he hears a small cry emanate from it. Horton, concerned that there may be a small person on that speck which is floating dangerously about, rescues it by catching it on the bloom of a clover and carries it with him everywhere, waiting to hear it speak again. When the other jungle residents catch wind that Horton thinks tiny people are living on a speck, they think he is crazy and, knowing the influence he has on the children, also a menace. Eventually the mayor of the tiny people on the speck can hear and understand Horton as well as the other way around, thanks to a metal funnel channeling their voices. It seems that Horton was right in thinking someone lived on the speck, in fact it's a whole world of its own, only tiny. The mayor is concerned because since the speck has moved from its stable location on the daisy, their tiny world has experienced tremors and odd weather patterns due to all of the constant moving around. However the mayor of the tiny people has the same problem as Horton when his own community refuses to believe that their whole world is nothing more than a speck floating around in a great big world and offer little help and refuse to listen to someone who is obviously crazy. Horton and the tiny mayor need to work together to save the speck from destruction as the other members of the jungle are out to destroy the speck, clover and all, to stop any talk of nonsensical tiny people since they lack giant elephant ears and cannot hear the little lives down below. If only the people on the speck could say something loud enough...
The Good: Various feature length theatrical adaptations of Dr. Suess work have already been next to awful, but I was pleased to find that this one was animated and reproduced well. The animation is 3D computer rendering, and it is gorgeous. They manage to capture practically perfectly the world of Seuss and bring it to life in fluffy looking fur and dainty flower tops. The voice acting is well done, and I was nervous about Jim Carrey as the lead role. Steve Carell as the mayor and Carol Burnett as the Kangaroo who wants to destroy the speck are most notable for their outstanding performances. They did a superb job animating the mayor to compliment Carell's voice stylings and the humour comes right through. The themes of the film (as with the book on which it is based) are strong and positive ones. Horton's mantra "I meant what I said and I said what I meant; an elephant's faithful one hundred percent", the main point of "a person's a person, no matter how small", as well as other underlying themes of staying your ground despite persecution, always telling the truth even if it sounds crazy, and believing in something even if you can't see it are all encouraging and should be introduced to everyone, especially kids. Yes, this film is rated G for general audiences, but as odd as this sounds I might call it a "hard G" for some of the humour involved (not limited to a town meeting where the mayor tries to convince the chairmen of the danger, and even though we can't hear what's being said, a picture of a horse's ass is displayed, which is hilarious).
The Bad: There was a part near the beginning where they really piled on the physical humour and I was afraid I was in for a falling-on-my-face pratfall film, but it was mostly the one scene and fairly sparsely distributed throughout. If I had to pick, I'd say Jaime Pressly does the worst voice over job as a blue-headed bird thing, but her part is very small.
I was beginning to think a full film version of a Dr. Seuss book was impossible, and I was glad to be proven wrong. This film maintained all of the charm and innocence of Seuss. It's smart with a point without being preachy and teaches valuable lessons for everyone. The animation is crisp, the voice acting superb, and to top it off, it is genuinely funny to boot.
A+
