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He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Hellraiser: Deader ::
by Dweller
There once was a movie called
Hellraiser. It was original. It was good. Then came Hellbound:
Hellraiser II. It was also good; it was a direct sequel picking up where
the first one left off. Then came part 3: Hell on Earth and the downward
spiral began. Now we are up to part 7, and they just keep on sucking.
This was the film:
Kari Wuhrer plays Amy Klein an investigative reporter for the London
Underground, who like most investigative reporters in horror movies, has
flashbacks of being molested by a man with a moustache. Amy’s usual stories are
the type where she goes undercover as a crack whore and stuff, because as this
movie is so fond of repeating... She has this “fucked up destructive thing going
on” Almost every main character repeats that phrase once.
Anyhoo, her boss sends her to
Bucharest to do a story about the Deaders. What is a Deader you ask? Is it a
Jerry Garcia thing? No, for those of you who don’t know (re: everyone who
hasn’t seen the movie), a Deader is an outsider, usually of the gothic
persuasion who kills themselves on a bed in an underground tunnel and is then
brought back to life by sucking face with the Goth prince “Winter” played by
Paul Rhys. Her journey first leads her to the apartment of a Deader who has
killed herself…again. She leaves an envelope full of pictures of Winter, a key,
a video tape, and the Hellbox for Amy to find. On the video this Ex-Deader
tells Amy to talk to a guy who apparently lives on a subway car. Amy goes to see
him, which subway car this dude lives on is pretty obvious. This scene was
filmed in a new subway station in Bucharest that is not opened yet; everything
is new and clean including all of the cars on the train except for the last one.
The last car is covered with spray-paint and old phonebooks and filth. Amy is
greeted by the doorman (Yes a guy who lives on a subway car has a doorman) the
inside of this car is full of graffiti and feces and drug addicts and topless
lesbians. Whatshisface tells Amy how to find Winter but warns her to turn back,
blah, blah, blah.
My thoughts:
I like that Doug Bradley returns as Pinhead , but unfortunately for only like
four minutes total. This movie was filmed on location in Romania, I don’t know
why I think that’s cool, but I do. Amy is an investigative reporter who has
neither a flashlight, nor gloves. That just ticks me off because next to a pen
or pencil, those would be the most important things to have. This movie was not
originally a Hellraiser film. The making of featurette revealed the
obvious fact that the script was rewritten two days before shooting to include
Pinhead and co. Too many clichés: Stray dogs eating things that may or may not
be parts of people, houseflies buzzing around doorknobs, bird flying out of dark
ally frightening our heroine, topless lesbians. Amy is not a likable character.
She’s cute, but has nothing else going for her. I didn’t care if the movie ended
with her alive, dead, deader, or deadest. Can you just move into a train car?
Wouldn’t anyone try to stop you? This movie puts the girl into situations that
you know something bad is about to happen, then suddenly jumps ahead in time,
confusing both Amy and us.
The What What:
I didn’t like this movie, it had a fucked up destructive thing going on.
D
