Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Ghostrider ::
by William the Bloody
Young Johnny Blaze and his dad are trick motorcyclists for a carnival. They do daredevil stunts to amaze crowds. Johnny is willing to throw this all away when his girlfriend Roxanne is going to have to move. The teenagers plan to run off together, only that night Johnny sees a document in the trash he wasn't supposed to find. His dad has cancer and it's spreading fast. Johnny goes to sort things out in his head by working on his bike, when a mysterious stranger says he can completely cure Johnny's dad... for a price. This mystery man would have Johnny's soul and the ability to call on him whenever he wanted to do his bidding. Johnny agrees, and his blood is dripped on the contract. The next day, Johnny's dad comes home from the doctor and explains how his health miraculously turned around and he's never felt better. That same day, Mr. Blaze does a stunt show and dies in a motorcycle crash. The stranger calls on Johnny and explains his end of the deal was simply to cure his cancer and nothing else, and that Johnny still belongs to him some day. Unnerved by all of this, seventeen year old Johnny stands up Roxanne on their plans to run off. Flash forward fifteen years. Johnny Blaze is the hottest death defying stunt cyclist there is. He can fill stadiums and has a video game based on his stunts. Johnny's about to perform his most unbelievable jump yet, and he can't believe his eyes when his old girlfriend Roxanne asks him for a television interview before the show. Johnny really wants a second chance, but just as he's about to go on a date with his dream girl, he gets called on his deal. It seems that his mysterious "benefactor"'s son is up to no good, and it's the kind of no good that even someone like him wants to put a stop to so he calls in his best weapon, Johnny. Johnny gets imbued with supernatural powers.. that of the Ghost Rider, in order to combat the mystery man's son and his posse and keep from a soul contract before it's too late for all of mankind.
The Good: I didn't really know all too much about Ghost Rider as a character, and this film did a good job of getting me up to speed on things. Granted, they left a few things out and changed some things around, but it all made sense within the confines and continuity of this version. They even managed to give this film a pretty good plot, too. They decided to go with an element idea; Johnny was fire and he had to fight wind, earth, and water. Not too shabby. You can tell by his performance that Nicholas Cage was REALLY excited to have this role and he didn't mind showing it. Eva Mendes's cleavage plays a good part as well. Hey, it's not just me, okay? There were a few keen fun moments in this movie, like the contrast between the stadium before a jump blasting Ozzy and Johnny's private preparations backstage involving the Carpenters.
The Bad: Well, um, let's face the fact that this is a movie about a guy whose head catches fire and he rides around on a flaming motorbike wielding a chain like Wonder Woman wields a gold lasso. Just take a moment and picture that in your head. Needless to say, this movie relies heavily on CGI effects and there are times when it's not up to snuff. The wind demon guy, for example. I didn't like his CGI. I thought it made him look to similar to earth demon guy, who was all dusty. The wind guy looked dusty, too. Also, at one point the Ghost Rider bike mutates into a hellish thing, and that sucker is WAY too over the top. It looked corny is what. Which brings me nicely to my next matter, that this was based on a comic, and sometimes no matter how cool something is in a comic, it just can't translate into live action. Case in point: Ghost Rider's supernatural power "The Penance Stare." Looks good on paper, but live action? PLEASE. Wes Bently was less than stellar as Ghost Rider's nemesis Blackheart, but there was only so much he could do, really. Also, for some reason they felt like they had to change the soul bargaining mystery man's name for the film from Mephisto (in the comics) to Mephistopheles. What the hell? I kept getting that song from Cats in my head when I heard his name. What's the deal? No reason for such an arbitrary change.
In the end, Ghost Rider was okay. It's no Spider-man, or Batman Begins, but it also wasn't The Hulk. The film had an actual plot, with solid ideas, but when all is said and done, there's only so much even the best actors and script writers can do with a leather clad guy on fire riding a flaming motorcycle around. That's one hell of a premise to sell. I found the film more enjoyable when I took a step back from it and began picturing it in terms of a comic book. You know, how would this shot look it I were looking at it drawn by John Romita Jr.? As a comic, it would have been pretty good, but as a live action film it felt more than a little silly, so I'm going to rate this two ways:
A silly-fun entertainment source: B+
Actual film with cinematic value:
C
